Homelessness, Harvard and Big Tech

Examining Society’s Fixation with Resilience—and its Cost

ABOUT ACCEPTANCE

“Nietfeld’s gifts for capturing the fury of living at the mercy of bad circumstances, for critiquing the hero’s journey even while she tells it, make Acceptance a remarkable memoir.” —The New York Times Book Review

A luminous, generation-defining memoir of foster care and homelessness, Harvard and Big Tech, examining society’s fixation with resilience—and its cost

As a homeless teenager writing college essays in her rusty Toyota Corolla, Emi Nietfeld was convinced that the Ivy League was the only escape from her dysfunctional childhood. But upward mobility required crafting the perfect resilience narrative. She had to prove that she was an “overcomer,” made stronger by all that she had endured. 

The truth was more complicated. Emi’s mom was a charming hoarder who had her put on antipsychotics but believed in her daughter’s brilliance—unlike the Minnesotan foster family who banned her “pornographic” art history flash cards (of Michelangelo’s David). Emi’s other parent vanished shortly after coming out as trans, a situation few understood in the mid-2000s. Her own past was filled with secrets: mental health struggles, Adderall addiction, and the unbecoming desperation of a teenager fending for herself. And though Emi would go on to graduate from Harvard and become a software engineer at Google, she found that success didn’t necessarily mean safety.

Both a chronicle of the American Dream and an indictment of it, this searing debut exposes the price of trading a troubled past for the promise of a bright future. Told with a ribbon of dark humor, Acceptance challenges our ideas of what it means to overcome—and find contentment on your own terms.

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Praise

“Nietfeld’s gifts for capturing the fury of living at the mercy of bad circumstances, for critiquing the hero’s journey even while she tells it, make “Acceptance” a remarkable memoir.”

—New York Times Book Review

“A raw, insightful memoir—from childhood neglect to Harvard and Big Tech—tenderly baring the underbelly of what we call ‘success.’”
—People Magazine

“In this gripping, inspiring, and darkly humorous memoir, Emi Nietfeld recounts a life that took her from homelessness and foster care to Harvard and Google, and still left her unsatisfied with the American dream.”
—Philadelphia Inquirer, “Best New Books of the Month”

“Heart-pounding. . . . Nietfeld’s raw resilience and candor will keep readers enthralled until the very last page. This hits hard.”
—Publishers Weekly

“ACCEPTANCE is gripping, fascinating, funny and thought-provoking. . . . Nietfeld’s book and her life are extraordinary accomplishments, and she’s wonderful company.”
—Minneapolis StarTribune

Named a best book of 2022 by Amazon and NPR.

Read An Excerpt

Book Clubs

“If Educated was a book that shook you, you need to pick up Acceptance by Emi Nietfeld... It’s an ideal book club read.”
— Iowa Public Radio

Emi is available to Zoom into your book club meeting! You can also download a discussion guide if you ask nicely, she might give you the recipe for her mom’s cheesecake brownies.

Reviews and Press